Be Yourself {Beauty Philosophy}

This is the first post sent by one of my regular readers, Rahma. Hope you like it and trust me when I say we both are holding our breaths for the verdict :D So, go ahead and let us know how you like the post and what could be better. Also, if you have any specific topic which you want to be written on, you can mention that. And, looking forward to your posts as well :)

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Most of the people around me and including me too have the same problem. We are, like, always having some or the other inferiority complex. Some people have the feeling they are not fair, some think they are not thin or not stylish enough. 

We all try our whole life only to impress people around us. We are the people-pleaser material. Sometimes, we go to the extent of even doing stupid stuff like  we  buy the advertisement products and apply it which  sometimes  results in  adverse affects. 

People who are fat on the other hand go to the extent of dieting for like weeks   until they become way too lethargic. We value others opinion so much and get affected. I mean we hear since childhood "BE YOURSELF" but  every time we try to be us we get comments and we tend to be something which we are not.

Truth to be told: if you don’t love yourself, why should anyone else? Although lots of people will love you even if you don’t, your relationships will be much healthier and far more stable if you do [love yourself]. Try to work out what is stopping you from being confident. 

And, then try to overcome these issues. If you have low body confidence, taking up a sport is a good idea because it will make you think about your body differently. Actually, that's a damn good suggestion, Rahma, because doing something new always changes our perceptions and teaches us new things :)

If you feel too shy, then push your boundaries by doing something new or something independently. I think we all, for once, should follow our hearts and be content the way we are. If people around us can’t accept us the way we are, is it right that we want to be with them?

BE Content for who you are and not what others want us to be. Let go of concerns and focus on building talent and figuring out your strengths. Since it’s my first post, I would really appreciate some comments on this whether my writing was good or not. And, if you liked the post or not.

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Love Thy Self

Love Thy Self {Beauty Philosophy}

This is a new series I am starting for the benefit of everyone including myself. I have never really written about the philosophy involved in beauty, the societal rules and how it affects a person on a mental level. So, let's start with the first lesson. Most of it might be repetitive so forgive me in case you get bored!! 

Love your Skin

There is a psychological clock in our body which affects it in numerous ways and always gives reactions which are least desired. Well, do you remember the Newtonian law of everything has equal and opposite reaction? No, don't worry, I am not starting science classes but actually this law holds in real life as well and not only on objects. 

If you are obsessed about your weight, you find yourself constantly increasing. If you keep complaining about hair, you will find it breaking. If you simply hate your skin, it will keep on sagging. And, if you hate yourself, your vibrations or aura is automatically negatively charged. So, love yourself for whatever you are!!

Here, I should probably mention about a mail from one of the readers to whom I have not yet replied even after promising and yes, you can totally hate me for that!! I am so sorry if you are reading it. And, her grudge was that she wanted to kill herself because of her skin issues. 

Ok, granted that she might have exaggerated a bit but its true that a less than perfect self (forming unrealistic expectations) does affect us or our minds and souls in a strange way and that can go deep down. So, if you really care for my opinion, please chuck all such negativity out of your system coz nothing good has come out of it and draw inspiration from people who are worse off than you and are still happy. 

I do that and yes, it does inspire me as well to live better because struggles are a part and parcel of life and skin and hair issues can be considered least of anyone's worries if you really consider the real life problems which people actually go through. So, chill out and look at the bigger picture. Not obsessing on any issue does give a clearer outlook and helps dealing with the problem in a better way.  

What do you think?

How to make my child fair? {Beauty Philosophy}

This is not a post on fairness or to berate people who preach such things. The post today is about our responsibility to make things better and not fall victims to the same age-old practices which we have criticized before becoming a prey to it.

In my own family, I have seen countless women suffering from inferiority complex because either their mother, sister or, worse still, mother-in-law is fairer than them. I know this sounds a little extreme but these are small nuances which have great effect on relationships as well in the later life! There is nothing called fairness. We all have a pre-defined skin tones and we can never change them. 

Take me for example, my mother is extremely fair where as my father is the opposite end of the pole. There is a lot of age difference in my mom and dad and thanks to her genes, my mother looks younger than her age and has very little gray hair even though she is 52 now. Where as, my father started greying post 45 which is, I guess, a decent age. And, I did not favor either of them in the skin tone. I am a middle with a darker wheatish skin tone. So, I was ridiculed on one hand for being too dark and for being fair enough on another :D

Honestly, either of it did not change much for me. I learned that pretty early in life and have been comfortable in my own skin. I think it has a lot to do with how your parents treat you as well. For example, I know of a lady who had commented on her second child being darker than her first born! Well, this comment stayed with the second lady for life long and it does manifest in quite a lot of her activities! 

In fact, I would love to quote a dialog from Pretty Woman which fits aptly in this context, "Well, thanks, but it's easy to clean up when you got money". It is so true coz when you can buy whole lotta stuff, you do become fairer overnight. Ever noticed that with our film stars?  

What do you say? What is your stance on being fair? 

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Is dark so ugly?
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Is dark so ugly? {Beauty Philosophy}

Well, this certainly does not apply to women alone but let me say that maximum racism is carried out by women only! Ok, I might be termed a misogynist for this statement. But, seriously, maximum number of times in my life, only women have pointed out that I am dark and therefore ugly!

Anyways, why this post was prompted was because of my increasing concern towards my readers! Oh no, I am not altruistic. But, recently, I have started getting so many queries regarding how to become fair. Well, if you are a 10 plus something, I am fine with such questions. But, the unfortunate thing is that mommies are becoming paranoid for their 1-2 month old babies' complexions as well.

First, I am NOT making fun of you. Second, I am seriously concerned. Third, hear me out.

I totally understand where all this concern is coming from. Years and years of ill-treatment due to complexion differences more often result in such kind of anxieties. So, let me first reply to all those queries. PLEASE DO NOT BE CONCERNED. The babies and kids tend to change their skin color. In fact, skin color changes for even adults. So, keep their skin care routines healthy and simple and apply sunscreen regularly for kids above 2 years or ask a dermatologist or a paediatrician.

Now, coming to voicing my concerns, I think that we can not change the old mindset but we can lay down the new rules. We as the propagator of the future generations need to get over our insecurities and make sure our kids do not carry the same inferiority complexes which were drilled into us by the society. If at all, they should be taught how to fight and not feel bad for someone's comments. Because, there will always be one person who will speak ill. Because, there will always be some or the other struggle they have to undergo. And, because, we are better equipped in understanding our kids psychologies thanks to our own experiences.

So, instead of thinking how to deal with the issue, we should teach them how to face the challenges gracefully. And, this is just a small matter of complexion. I very strongly believe that any hesitation on the part of the parent gets conveyed to the kid somehow even if none of them actually understand what it is and that hesitation does manifest in the kid as he grows older.

So, this is my earnest request to all parents of all generations to please not get bothered by little things as complexions and clothes and rather focus on developing self-confidence and self-esteem in the child. And, this process actually starts since the conception of the baby! And, please do not take this post as a lesson in parenting. I do not have a kid of my own neither I have brought up any sibling of mine but these are some parenting rules I live by and would carry them out on my progeny.

What do you all think? Is it our responsibility to change the perspective of future generations or not?

PS: Please note that this post is not meant to hurt any sentiments. On the other hand, I respect them all and understand them!

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What do you love about Yourself? {Your Opinion}

Ok, so, today, I want to talk to you about the good things in life :) This was the post put up by Tine on her blog first and then Paris did a post on it few days back. We all find something or the other to criticize in our features or body or any physical attributes. But, what do you actually love about yourself?

My answer would be my eyes. Nah, they are just plain looking and small but they are milky clear and glow with all the charm when I am happy. Problem is they are hidden always behind the lens but I am not complaining :D

And, I love my skin because it is definitely less problematic. But, my hair is an issue which will stay for life long. But, even then, I love it the way it is :) Oh that reminds me to inform you that I am skipping the hair diary post this month as December was not exactly any path breaking. 

So, what about you? I am waiting to hear from you :) Share what you love about yourself quickly!!

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